Thoughts after a show – on being safe & everything turning out OK :)

So I had a show… Again.. of my original songs in which embarrassingly I recently seem to lose all possible faith – my only children: my hug-songs.. and I have been such a bad mother.. If you have read my previous post, you know that – well let’s just say I kind of stopped hoping any of friends would ever make it to one of my shows 😉 Which is kind of good, because I would like to try to hope that my music could just touch some people & people would like it for its sake, and not come as my friends to help me feel better when I lose faith.. So it did not bother me at all. I kind of planned a pause on live gigs (because ‘ no one ever came’ anyway, and well some people I admire, like Stina N, never play live anyway ..) & focus on starting fundraising – via pledge music – for my EP recording project. Thing I was meant to do months ago but well then the faith thing started happening and well.. one gets always busy in London right? (especially when you are good at perfectionism & procrastination 😉. So for tonight I kind accepted some time ago not many may actually make it to the show… but then a friend said she would come. AND bring a friend. And another long lost friend got back in touch saying it was her birthday and she would make her birthday do in the pub where the show was taking place. And another suddenly decided to show up. with a friend too. AND...